Takia Sharee

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Categories: Motherhood, Parenting

Stop Putting Others Before Yourself and Make Time for You as a SAHM

As stay at home mothers, we don’t always make time for ourselves. Often enough we tend to over work ourselves to compensate for the guilt we feel, believing we need to do more because we chose to stay home. Don’t let another day go by before you decide to stop putting others before yourself and make time for you as a stay at home mom.

What Do Stay at Home Moms Do?

A woman deciding to become a homemaker, housewife, or stay at home mom in today’s society is overlooked and commonly disapproved.

You may hear opinions of others telling you things like, you just sit home and do nothing or you’re wasting your life, you should get a job.

Although, contrary to what many people assume, stay at home moms, homemakers, and housewives are the primary home managers and do a lot more than sit on couches, play with children, and wipe butts everyday.

Stay at home moms have full lists of errands and tasks running through her heads, and if there was anything on the list pertaining to herself ,she is usually somewhere closer to the bottom.

Why Do Moms Put Themselves Last?

For so many generations, mothers all over the world  have been taught to take of their family; i.e husband, children, household, before taking care of themselves.

Sadly, in todays society the well being of the family is directly linked to the mother. Whether she keeps a clean house, how well her children look, and making  sure she can make delicious home cooked meals is said to be her main focus.

Unfortunately, this only means that after everyone else has been taken care of, whatever time is left belongs to her.

 Furthermore, many stay at home moms are missing personal care like everyday showers, dental appointments, doctors visits, and sleep.

The rise of anxiety and depression in stay at home moms can be linked back to sleep deprivation, poor hygiene, and lack of social interaction.

Check out this post:

The Ultimate Beginners Guide to Regaining Your Identity After Losing Yourself in Motherhood

Do Mothers Need A Break?

Every single mother needs to take a break. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 responsibility with no paid time off. Not one mother can successfully run errands all day, cook, clean, and actively raise her children without taking a break.

Girl, you aren’t a robot, you’re a human being; stop putting yourself last.

 Whatever chore or errand that so desperately needs to be completed, can wait until you’ve mentally recharged yourself. Sidenote: Don’t be afraid to say NO.

Why Is It Important For Moms to Take Care of Themselves?

As I stated previously, much of the household depends heavily on the wife or mom managing the home. If the mom/manager doesn’t take care of herself , how can she affectively take care of the household responsibilities without bitterness.  Usually moms will start to break down mentally before seeing physical or social changes if they aren’t taking care of themselves.

coffee in ceramic mug served on board

10 Ways to Put Yourself First as a Stay at Home Mom

  • 1. Don’t Skip Showers- Showers are super important in motherhood. Showers can reduce depression and anxiety and are perfect to help reduce feelings of overwhelm in stay at home moms.  
  • 2. Get Out Of Your Pajamas- Although you are home, you don’t have to look like you just rolled out of bed. Start each day by changing out of your pajamas and putting on an outfit that will help you feel good about yourself.
  • 3. Drink Water- The recommended amount of water to drink in a day is  8-10 Cups.  Most people don’t understand the power of water. Not drinking enough water a day can cause dehydration and lead to lack of energy.
  • 4. Get Moving- Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Early mornings or during your childs nap is the perfect time to work out and get your body moving.
  • 5. Take a Multivitamin B6 and B12  to Boost Energy
  • 6. Say No– Its just as simple as that; Just say No. Too Often we feel guilty because we feel like we have to be everything to everyone, and that only means that we become nothing to ourselves. Take it from me, make yourself happy first.
  • 7. Take a 1-2 hour break daily- Treat homemaking as you would a typical  working job. Take time during the day to take a break, and rest up for the remainder of the evening responsibilities.
  •  Do what ever you like during this time alone, however I would suggest turning off your phone, not scrolling through social feeds, and actually mentally reset for one hour a day. Try Journaling, Mid Day Meditation and Prayer.
  • 8. Eat while your food is still hot- One of the biggest mistakes I have made  is poor eating habits.
  • Certain habits like, not eating while the food is still hot, or eating while standing up, and even eating on the go. Give yourself the decency to sit down and actually enjoy your meal.
  • 9. Get rid of Mom Guilt – Mom guilt will suffocate you, if you let it.
  • Sometimes mom guilt can make you feel like you aren’t a human being; and you shouldn’t feel certain ways about motherhood, or being a stay at home mom.
  • You may experience thoughts like, you should be grateful you have a spouse that works so you can stay home, or some women cant even have children be happy you were able to have kids.
  • Don’t let mom guilt keep you from speaking up for yourself, or doing what you love. .
  • 10. Learn to Set Boundaries- Teach your children to be more independent as they get older. and create a space between you and them that demonstrates personal priority.  
  • Whether your children sit and wait for you to finish using the bathroom before walking in, or allowing you to eat all your food before serving them seconds, you are also important and should ask others to treat you accordingly.

Conclusion

Don’t let your responsibilities get in the way of you taking good care of yourself.

Start by putting yourself at the top of your to do list, and don’t be ashamed if you have to say no to things that don’t make you happy.

Be more intentional with your life and make yourself a priority every day.   

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Categories: Motherhood, Parenting

The Ultimate Beginners Guide to Regaining Your Identity After Losing Yourself in Motherhood

Once you have children, you can get so easily caught up in being the best mom that you stop being the best you. From day one, I proudly wear “mommy” as a badge of honor. It was and still is one of the greatest accomplishments I’d ever become. However, becoming a mom guilted me into thinking that becoming the best version of myself was selfish and irresponsible. Girl, I even thought that putting my children before me was what was best for them. Soon I’d realize that was the farthest thing from the truth.

woman sitting on black chair in front of glass-panel window with white curtains

What is Motherhood Identity Crisis?

 Motherhood identity crisis is simply the loss of a woman’s sense of individuality while actively raising children. After having children, the life of a mother mainly revolves around the needs of her kids and household, and less around what makes her, her. According to Wikipedia, Identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, and/or expressions that characterize a person or group

For example, prior to having children, a mother may have been known for her unique characteristics, however once she became a mom she became recognized for just that. Identity Crisis is very common in motherhood and especially common is those women who have multiple kids.  

Why is Mom Identity Important?

A mother’s identity is very important to maintain while raising children.  The needs of children are very demanding and in the cases of stay at home moms, it is a 24 hour responsibility.

 If a mother focuses solely on her children and less on taking care of herself, she may start to exemplify certain mom burnout behaviors such as emotionally distancing herself from her children, frustration, anxiety, depression, or addictive behaviors (such as alcoholism).

A mothers identity is a crucial element in raising happy children.

Prior to losing my identity in motherhood, I had independence, one that I didn’t recognize as freedom until I had lost it. I had the ability to come and go as I pleased, I ate when and where I wanted to, I slept when I was tired, and I only had the responsibility of me.

After having children and becoming a stay at home mom, I became so absorbed in motherhood that I started to neglect myself.

 I begin eating less or while standing up, not even giving myself the decency to sit down at the table, not taking daily showers, buying things the kids didn’t need, out of guilt , over buying things for myself.

Let me tell you, save yourself from this cycle, a toy todays a forgotten toy tomorrow.

Reasons Moms Lose Their Identity

Sleep Deprivation

Sleep is very important and often overlooked in motherhood. Getting 8 or so hours of sleep in motherhood is extremely important; but often due to a childs inconsistent sleep schedule mom will start to develop poor sleep habits.

 Mothers with poor sleep habits for prolonged periods of time will often start to mimic mental disorders like anxiety, depression, or unpredictable behavior.

Therefore, physical as well as mental exhaustion can lead to a mom feeling like she has lost her grip on her identity.

 Although sleep deprivation is very common in motherhood, the normality neglects its urgency. Mothers with newborn children should try sleeping while the child is sleep to rest up for the next shift.

However, this can be difficult if you have other children, or when trying to decide between sleep and washing a load of laundry.

In many cases, moms will call outside sources for help to get the rest needed.

Lack of Support

While it does take a village to raise children, some mothers don’t have the support system needed to assist with child-rearing.

 Often enough, mothers with lack of support don’t spend ample time alone, leading to the loss of identity.

Mothers who spend a lot of time handling family and household day-to-day responsibilities, are working around the clock without a substantial break.

Support allows mom to regroup and mentally recharge; helping her maintain her sense of self.

Majority of mothers will develop support systems from parents to siblings, or friends of the family.

However, if this isn’t possible, professional baby-sitting services would be an ideal option.

three woman holding hands white walking

Social Life

Social Interaction with other adults is an important factor in motherhood and identity. Identity is often identified within social concepts, especially through Family, Government Parties, Churches, Schools, Sports etc.

The loss of social interaction when actively raising children can also have a major affect on how moms view themselves.

Not remaining active within our social groups, can lead to identity crisis, making it difficult to identify our own personal value.

In addition, moms will start to develop social anxiety if social interaction is neglected routinely.



Weight Gain

Weight gain and other physical alterations like hair loss, saggy breast, larger feet, and post-baby facial changes in motherhood can be a huge factor in losing your sense of self.

Furthermore, mothers struggling to get rid added weight, tend to become more self conscious of their appearances.

 Not being able to wear your favorite jeans, or struggling to participate in activities you once enjoyed can seriously play mind games within yourself.

 

Be Sure to Check Out:

Rediscover Your Fashion After Motherhood

Things You Should Do to Look Better and Feel Better

Self Care

Self is care is not selfish. One of the biggest misconceptions in motherhood is that self care is a selfish act. Self care is extremely neglected in motherhood; mainly because of generational notions that would have us to believe putting others before ourselves is what was best for our families.

Mothers for decades have adopted this theory, and have later realized neglecting self care is actually the worst thing we can do for our families.

For me, when I neglected self care I felt like I wasn’t human; more like a robot.

Brushing my hair only when I was going to be seen outside the house, to skipping showers because I felt there was some other pressing factor that need to come before me.

Take it from me, put you first. Nothing is more important than you, because without you and all that you do your family would be devastated.

Hobbies

Hobbies are activities within our interest that we participate in regularly; keyword here is regularly.

Hobbies aren’t only pastimes we do on weekends, they can be done throughout the week and even daily.

 Prior to becoming a mom of four I loved to dance, and after having children I started to dance less and less.  It wasn’t until I recognized my sons love for dancing that I realized I hadn’t been doing what I loved.

The lack of indulging in what interest you can cause you to lose your sense of individuality.

15 Tips for Regaining Your Identity in Motherhood

`1. Take Care of Yourself First– intentionally make yourself a priority every single day. Try waking up early in the morning before your children, and spend that time brushing your hair, showering, meditating, or reading a few pages of your favorite book.

I have found that waking up early before my children has been such a life saver in maintaining my sense of individuality.  

While most people will stay up late try practicing self-care at night, I prefer the morning before the chaos so that I am well prepared for whatever the day brings.

2. Hire/ Outsource – The day-to-day household responsibilities can feel like soul sucking obligations, and are very time consuming. My ultimate nemesis is the never-ending pile of laundry that seems to always be running over the basket.

Since outsourcing our laundry I have found more time to do the things I love. For your own mental sanity hire the help.

3. Participate in Social Groups– One of my favorite social groups to attend is church. I love God, and I love to fellowship with his people.

Church is such a great place to commune with God, meet new people, attend worship events, and volunteer. Find a social group that share your likes and values and actively participate within them.

4. Hobbies – when you do what you love its not work, its fun. You have enough responsibility on you list of things to do, do what you love!

Set aside time everyday to do what you love to do; you are a priority.

5. Get some sleep– The recommended amount of sleep is 8-10 hours. However, If you’re anything like me, you probably always get the urge to scroll through IG videos while laying in bed; but put the phone down and go to sleep.

Sleep is important and needs to be made a priority in motherhood in order to feel more like yourself again.

6. Exercise- Get active. Just 20 minutes a day can make such a huge difference in your journey to rediscovering yourself in motherhood; and I did I mention youll shed some of that post-baby weight.

7.  Ask for Help- Ask close friends and family for to help you with child-raising. If friends and family aren’t available, search a trustworthy babysitting service and get the break you desperately need.

8. See a Therapist– You’re not crazy because you see a therapist. There are hidden things that may be bothering you that you aren’t able to express or things others wouldnt even understand.  Seeing a therapist is a great way to talk about your feelings and regain your sense of self.

9. Get a New Hair Do – Nothing makes me feel more like myself more than a fresh hair cut or a new do.

10. Journal Your Thoughts – At the end of everyday journal your thoughts; the good, the bad, the ugly. Journaling is a great way to express yourself, instead of holding a bunch of mixed emotions in.

11. Spend Time Outside– The “sunshine drug”, also known as Vitamin D, fights fatigue, exhaustion, and mood swings; perfect for moms struggling to feel like themselves.

12. Take a Mini Mom Vacation– Mini Mom vacations are the perfect little get-a-ways. Leave your little ones with daddy and head for the nearest hotel.

Take this time to catch up on sleep, order room service, get a massage, or take a swim in the pool. Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.

13. Invite Friends Over for Dinner- Dinner parties are always fun; they are perfect for catching up with your friends. You can play your favorite games, eat, and even watch a chick flick.

14. Limit Time on Social Media– Take a social media break. Social media sometimes confuses reality. As mothers we tend to compare ourselves to other moms who “seem” to be living better lives. Let me just tell you no one has it all together.

15. Set Boundaries– Setting boundaries is important in regaining your identity. Boundaries can be set with your children, spouse, extended family, and friends. You have to put yourself first, and no one will value you, if you don’t require them to.

Conclusion

Ditch the mom guilt of wanting to be the perfect mom and become the best version of you. Put you first, do what you love, and get some sleep because you deserve a life you can be proud of.

Start today and rediscover yourself after motherhood.

Leave a comment and share how you are regaining your sense of self.

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Categories: Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting

Awesome Tips for Surviving My Family Pictures with Toddlers

Nothing is worst than when It’s time to send out those cute Christmas cards, and your child is digging in their nose or crying hysterically in almost every photo. Before Now, I have found myself digging through hundreds of photos, looking for ones I wouldn’t be embarrassed to print. Not anymore! In this post I share my top tips for surviving my family pictures with toddlers. 

Family portraits have come a long way from black and white pictures taken with poloraids and flash cubes. Cameras today are able to capture every single moment, the good, the bad and the ugly! 

You definitely don’t want to send grandma a family pic of your son digging for boogies or your husband staring down at his phone. 

Pictures before today felt so robotic, and trying to  get your toddler to stand as still as possible for every photo is a recipe for disaster. 

Toddler Things to Bring to a Family Photoshoot 

Bring on the bribes!  The best tip for surviving my family pictures with toddlers is to bring rewards and things that will make your child happy. 

1. The child’s favorite toy 

2. Snacks– Raisins, Grapes, Pretzels, Apple slices, Carrots, Celery, or Fruitsnacks are great no mess snacks. Snacks are helpful when shooting in between individual poses. 

3  Water or Clear Juice

4. Childs Favorite Song- Cocomelon is one of the top toddler sing alongs and perfect for getting your child to cooperate for family photoshoots. 

5. Bring a Stroller– depending on the age of your toddler, and the location of your photos , strollers are huge helpers. 

6. Tag Along Friend- bring someone who child loves to be around to help out and to stand behind the camera to capture the child’s attention. 

Places to Take Family Photos

Usually professional family pictures are taken in a studio. Studio Photos are great during colder months, capturing babies, and business related photos. I personally love outdoor photoshoots of families. 

The natural lighting and natures background really does capture story telling photos. Outdoor places such as, the local park, State parks, beaches and lakes are awesome places to take family photos.  Check out these places to take family pictures in NJ

How long should a family photo shoot last? 

Professional family photos can last about 1 to 2 hours. It really does depend on the size of the family and the variety of poses requested. Things like outfit changes, individual portraits or a fussy  toddler can take up lots of time when taking portrait family pictures. 

I would suggest preparing the family for a long shoot by making sure everyone has eaten and is well rested before arriving. 

Also, be sure to lay outfits out the night before, all the way down to socks and shoes, to make sure the outfit changes are seamless at the time of the shoot. 

Another suggestion would be to write out certain shots that you would like get; for example I only have one son and I like to get shots of him and my husband together.

Writing out certain shots helps to give the photographer out a lot and speeds up the photoshoot. 

How Do I Get My Toddler to Cooperate for Pictures? 

First,  I would suggest you Try asking your photographer to get the child more comfortable with the camera. Allowing the child to briefly touch the camera ( with assistance) and maybe view other photos of other kids the photographer has taken. 

Create the expectation of what is about to happen. 

Next, I would ask the photographer to allow things to happen naturally. Interact with the child and capture candid moments of the child being a child.

Position the parents around whatever is happening starting out. Once the child has gotten use to the camera being in their space the child will be more likely to cooperate for the family photo.  

How Should Kids Pose for Portraits?

1. The Piggy Back – what kid doesn’t like a piggy back ride from dad. This is a great pose to capture laughs and your toddler having fun! 

2. Skipping- My girls absolutely love to skip. It’s the perfect action pose for a Surviving Family Picture Day 

3. Holding Hands- the warmth of a parental hand is always comforting for family pictures. 

4. Lap Pose– My kids love to sit on daddy’s lap. Have dad play with them to capture these awesome moments. 

5. Hug it Out- hugs are awesome poses for family portraits, especially the really big tight hugs. 

6. Folding Arms- folding arms is a such a staple pose for children it makes them feel powerful. 

A smile is worth a thousand words- Julie A. Walker 

How to Get my Child to Smile? 

You definitely don’t want a portfolio filled with family pictures of your child not smiling. To make your kid smile, start out asking the tag along friend to make funny faces behind the camera. Kids love funny faces.

The photographer will be able to capture authentic laughs and smiles and not the fake smiles no one enjoys making. 

You can also, try tickling your child. Tickles are perfect for capturing your toddler smiling. Right after he photographer says something like “say cheese” give your toddler the one finger tickle on the side. I really does help capture some of the best family photos. 

One other thing that helps capture smiles from toddlers during family shoots are the odd sayings other than “say cheese”. Try sayings like “stinky feet” or funny made up words. 

Bring on the Props for family photo shooting with toddlers. Depending on the occasion of the shoot,  Hand Puppets, building blocks, stuffed animals, and other kids of toys or props are great additions to capturing the perfect family photos. 

Conclusion 

Portraits of Families can last a lifetime. From generation to generation family pictures have told the stories and tales that live on forever. Make your next family photoshoot one you and your toddler one you’ll never forget . 

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Categories: Parenting

10 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Mom

In June 2014 I was so nervous about becoming a new mom. I asked the doctor lots of questions, I read books, and I took classes. I thought all those things would teach me everything I needed to know about motherhood. Sadly, I was mistaken. I was taught how to change diapers, swaddle, and breastfeed, but nothing past the newborn stage. In this post I will share the 10 Things I wish I knew as a new mom.

person holding baby's index finger

How to Prepare Yourself as A First Time Mom

Becoming a mother usually starts with lots of questions; either to women around us that we are close to, or our family doctor. For most women, preparing for motherhood starts with taking care of yourself first.

You can start by exercising daily, taking daily vitamins, and eating healthier choice foods. Your baby’s health starts with you and will continue on for the next 9 months.

Next I would start by asking family and friends, who have smaller children, if you could be of any assistance to them. Baby sitting is one of the best ways to prepare yourself as a first-time mom.

What better way to learn than to experience mothering first hand. Familiarize yourself with things like how to change diapers, learning how to test the temperature of warm bottles, or how to burp the baby; and whatever else beyond the new born stage of motherhood.

Mothering can sometimes feel like your being thrown into a sea of uncertainty; but as you go you will grow.

Its also important to have a financial plan when growing a family. Now I wouldn’t say you need thousands of dollars to start growing a family, but you do need to have a savings plan in place.

Start by creating a baby expense fund; and saving 10% of every pay check.  Although, you will most likely start out with gifts from the baby shower, baby expenses like diapers, wipes, formula, and clothing are constantly changing and expanding in every stage of mothering.  

selective focus photography of pink shoes on wooden bench

The Hardest Part of Being a New Mom

One of the biggest challenges of being a new mom is learning to care for yourself while taking care of the demanding needs of a newborn baby.

Newborn babies need to be feed, changed, and soothed round the clock, and at all times of night. The best advice I could ever receive was to” take care of yourself and then care for the baby”.

Now in no way shape or form does this mean to neglect your baby, its simply means to learn to care for yourself and make your needs just as important as the needs of the baby.

In the early stages of mothering, it is so easy to miss showers, and neglect self-care.

Place your baby in the arms of a spouse, care giver, or a safe place like a crib or bassinet, and take a moment to maybe brush your hair, brush your teeth, and take a quick shower.

You would be amazed at how much a simple shower can impact your entire day.  

You got this mama!

Mothering can sometimes feel like your being thrown into a sea of uncertainty; but as you go you will grow.

baby's white onesie

Things I Wish I Knew As a First Time Mom

  • You won’t be an expert in motherhood overnight
    2. Motherhood isn’t a sprint, it takes time and effort to develop a bond with your child to understand exactly what your child needs. You and Your child will be learning and growing together, give it time and ask your doctor all the questions you need answered  to be more comfortable in your new role.
  • A good mother isn’t measured by how many items you cross off your To-do list   
    1. As a first time mom I spent so much time doing things that I thought would make me a great mother, crossing things off your to do list doesn’t determine your value. You don’t have to do everything none the less, do everything right or how your mother did it to be great.
  • The most expensive item, may not be the best item for your child
    1. Do not get caught up in the latest baby item, or fancy new stroller. Social media can sometimes make you feel pressured into having expensive fancy high tech baby items. If you can afford those things, great; if you can’t get what you can and always ask for recommendations before purchase big ticket items.
  • People will offer Unsolicited Advice
    2. Strangers, Friends, and Family will offer advice but it is your job to take what you need and dispose of the rest. Some advice will be very helpful, but others may feel like they are crossing a thin line.
  • Motherhood is Not Perfect
    2. An important part of motherhood is learning to pivot when challenges happen.
  • You Are The Mother
    2. If you are married, you and your spouse will make the decisions for your family. However, if you are single you will make the decisions alone. Remember you are the mother, just because your mom or grandmother did things a certain way doesn’t mean that you should do it the exact same.  
  • Your Body is Beautiful
    2. Your body has gone through a lot of changes over the last 9 months, it will not REVERT back in a day. Give yourself some grace, your body will heal in its own timing.
  • Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
    2. Learning to say No is form of self care. If you aren’t up for visitors or don’t feel like attending a family function, simply say NO!
  • Never Miss The Opportunity to Spend Time with Your Spouse
    2. Children can be very demanding, don’t forget to spend time with your spouse
  • Cherish each moment, It goes by Quickly
    2. We can sometimes get so caught up in caring for the baby and the needs of our home, that we forget to stop and enjoy the moments. Don’t let life pass you by.
  • Start with Planning
    1. Get good at planning and preparation so you don’t miss any appointments or special events,.

Becoming a Mother

 Motherhood is a journey not at destination. The road of motherhood has lots of twist and turns, but it is also filled with beautiful moments you’ll never experience anywhere else.

Although, you may be anxious  and filled with lots of questions, I hope that what you know now, will help you toward your journey as a new mom.  

Always, Takia Sharee

 

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Categories: Motherhood, Parenting, Productivity

Important Things Every Mom Should Do Before Monday

Important Things Every Mom Should Do Before Monday  

Mom doing Laundry

Are you the mom that dreads getting up Monday morning? Does it seem like there just isn’t enough coffee to help you tackle your crazy week? In this post, I am sharing important things every mom should do before Monday. 

For many people, Monday is the hardest most stressful day of the week, but it doesn’t have to be. If you are a wife and mother you know that Mondays aren’t easy, and for me, that means lots of coffee and slow-moving little ones.

The weekends are full of family fun and Mondays aren’t anything fun at all. The worst part about Monday is that it’s like getting to the store and realizing you don’t have your mask in a worldwide Covid pandemic and driving back home only to get stuck in traffic. Mondays are the worst, and it requires a certain amount of preparation. Here are the important things every mom should do before Monday to prepare for a successful week.

How to prepare for the Week 

Self- Care

 After a long week, I first like to hit the refresh button. Getting ready for the following Monday starts with self-care on Friday.  If your anything like me and you’ve had a long week, you deserve a little me time. I like to start my weekends with Friday night facials, soaking my feet in a foot bath, and reading a really good book.  One of the most important things any mom can do for herself is finding the time to take care of herself at least once a week.

Clean Your Home / Declutter your Space

Mondays will run smoothly if you start with a clean slate. I have found that when I take the time to declutter and organize my home on the weekends Mondays are a lot easier. Try decluttering and thoroughly cleaning your home on Saturday mornings. Start by getting rid of newspapers, putting things back in their rightful place, and clearing all surfaces.

Click here to learn how cleaning your home helps to clear your mind.

Plan Your Meals

when I was working a 9-5 I would always come home trying to figure what we were going to eat for dinner. I hated having to thaw out food at the last minute because I knew It would mean we were going to eat late, again. So Saturday after I finished cleaning the house I would sit down at the kitchen table with the weekly grocery store sale papers and look to see what foods are on sale for the week and create a weekly menu.

Searching the sales papers for weekly food deals is also a great way to save money on groceries.  Mondays are my busiest days of the week so I like to cook dinner using my slow cooker. While I am busy working and managing the kids, dinner is cooking without any effort on my part.  On your busiest days try slow cooker or air fryer meals that are easy and simple.

Wash Clothes and Pick Out Weekly Outfits

After church on Sunday or Saturday mornings while decluttering my home I like to wash clothes. I dread laundry because I have 4 children it seems like it is a never-ending mountain. However, one of the most important things every mom should do before Monday is to pick out clothes for the week. Creating a weekly wardrobe is crucial in how to prepare for the week.

Also if you can, iron your clothes for the week; that would be even more helpful to prepare you for a successful week.  Searching for clothes in the morning takes up a lot of time, and if you could spend more time praying or meditating in the morning you are sure to have better days!

Write Down Weekly Tasks and Appointments- 

Plan your week by writing down any upcoming appointments or tasks that need to be completed. Trying to remember what needs to be done during the week usually brings frustration and missed appointments. Take time on Sunday before bed to write down what Is most important during the week and plan out your days. 

I like to write down what time I am going to wake up, what meals we will eat and what needs to thawed out the night before, family time, and so much more. It helps me to control my days so that the day doesn’t control me.

Pray for a Good Week

After I have planned my week the final thing I like to do is pray over my plans. Take the time to pray over your week and ask God to cover your plans and allow things to run smoothly within your home. Praying brings a sense of peace to such a huge responsibility.

Mom-life is hard work, and many times you may feel overworked, but letting God in on our plans helps us to lean on Him for strength. When you pray ask God to give you supernatural strength, assist you in making hard decisions, and to give you rest for the week ahead.  The one thing I believe more than anything is that God has a plan, and although we don’t always know what those plans are we can rest assured of his promise that he created us for good works. 

You don’t have to wait to plan your week on Friday. Start now! Even if it’s the middle of the week start where you are. Leave me a comment below and share your ideas on things every mom should do before Monday.

May you find this post to be a blessing.

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Categories: Motherhood

How to Rediscover Your Fashion After Motherhood

Rediscover Your Style After Motherhood

Being a fulltime mom doesn’t have to look like you’ve given up on yourself. We are usually so focused on our little ones that we tend to not put any real effort into how we look.   From heels to designer bags and cute tops; there are plenty of trendy fashion items you can wear that are comfortable enough to be worn every day. Ditch your husbands oversized t-shirts and learn how to rediscover your fashion after motherhood.

woman wearing white sweater carrying a daughter



Motherhood Identity Crisis


One day I was standing in my closet, trying to find something to wear, when quickly I became frustrated. 

Everything that I wanted to wear was either too tight, outdated, or wouldn’t zip up! There is no way you’re going to be able to run after your kids in this, I reminded myself.

Unknowingly, I had normalized regularly wearing a nursing camisole and joggers. This coming from a girl who always kept up with the latest fashion trends, I’m sure you can only imagine the look on my face when I discovered my wardrobe stinks! 

I was standing in closet, looking at all these stylish size 4 clothes that were useless to me. After having children, my very small frame was now a thick size 8 and It was time to adjust my fashion.

Where are all my jeans?  Have I really turned into the girl who only wears athletic clothes? Although I am a mother of four, I don’t have to look like it. I quickly chose to put more effort into making myself look presentable enough to been seen, and not like I just rolled out of bed.

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Look better and feel better

Mom Style

Wear Chunky/Block  Heels


Chunky heels are so “in” right now. Before having children I was definitely a stiletto kind of girl. Now, not so much. Chunky heels are way more comfortable but still very trendy to wear with anything.  Block heels are perfect for rediscovering your fashion after motherhood.

 Carry a Tote Bag

Totes are oversized bags or purses that can carry lots of stuff. I love carrying my Michael Kors Tote when I am on the go because I can easily transfer baby items from the diaper bag without having to haul it into stores.

Tote bags can fit things like, your wallet, phone, diapers, wipes, pacifiers and so much more.

Tote bags are a must in my journey to rediscovering my fashion after motherhood because it can hold my entire life in one bag!

 Wear a Stylish Hat

The messy bun was probably discovered  by a mom who didn’t have time to do her hair and decided to just pull it up and go with the flow.

And just like the messy bun, hats are great for covering up bad hair days. When youre a mother, there usually isn’t enough time in the day to get it all done.  

Hats are perfect for rediscovering your fashion after motherhood because it brings versatility to any outfit, plus it knocks one thing off our long to-do list.

Cheers to brushing our hair back and rocking a cute fedora!

 Wear Flowy Dresses That Fall Below the Knee

If you’re a mom who has to constantly pick things up off the floor wearing dresses below the knee helps to not reveal all your assets; especially when your little one has thrown their bottle on the floor for the 100th time in a single day.

Dresses are such great ways to express your femininity. However, short tight-fitting dresses aren’t the best option when you need to be more flexible.

Dresses that flow and are loose fit, is both trendy and comfortable mom fashion.


Dress up Your Graphic Tshirt

Graphic T-shirts have such versatility. You can longue around the house in a graphic tee, or you can throw on a pair of cute mom jeans and a block heel shoe and dress it up.

A huge trick to dressing your graphic tee is to tuck it in.

Tucking your shirt makes a simple tee shirt look more crisp and can elevate your mom style.

Studded Earrings

Long dangly earrings are so chic; but hurt like a mother when they are yanked on by your child.

Unless its date night and me and my husband are going out, I usually wear pearl studded earrings everyday. Studded earrings are both safe and trendy everyday fashion items for moms.

 Layered Choker Necklace

Layering your necklace is very trendy for mum fashion in 2020. However, long layered necklaces are the recipe for disaster for moms with small children.

I recommend layered choker necklaces, so that you can still look very chic, but you don’t have to worry about your little one getting it tangled or using your necklaces to mimic a mini jump rope.

You can definitely thank me later girlfriend.

Conclusion to Rediscovering Your Fashion After Motherhood

Mom style doesn’t have to be boring baggy clothes that don’t fit or show no skin.

I love being a mom, but I also like being a stylish woman. You don’t have to choose being a mom over being fashionable; the best version of you can have the best of both worlds.

Adjust your style and rediscover your fashion after motherhood.

T. Sharee

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Categories: Motherhood

Things You Should Do to Look Better and Feel Better

You Look Good When You Feel Good

Have you heard the old saying “when you look good, you feel good and do good”? I am a firm believer of this very statement. As a woman, our looks play a major role in our inner assessment.  We also feel more confident when we look more put together as oppose to when we just throw anything on without much effort. Honestly, I think there is some sort of magic behind looking great because it elevates, not only the outer appearance, but our inner confidence as well. You can go out and slay your goals with boldness when you believe in yourself.  Let’s talk about the things you should do to look better and feel better.

How Feeling Good Helps Me Do Good

I can remember the day I came home from the hospital with my fourth child and I sat on the couch and looked down at my feet and whispered to myself “ girl, you are in major need of a serious pedicure ”.  

The worldwide pandemic had just really started to grow rapidly and businesses were closing. Of course,  the nail salon and hair dresser was on that list.

However, I knew that to  slay being a mom of four I needed to feel great about myself. I would get up everyday take a shower, wash my face, and put on lip gloss.

I found that the simplest things help me not only look better but feel better as well.

Plus, every two weeks  late at night, once I had put the kids to sleep, I would give myself a pedicure or a facial. I would put my headphones on and go somewhere far; in my head of course.

Girl, your “Do good” is all wrapped up in your feel good and look good. I had way more confidence to post here on my blog and create YouTube videos because I took time to care for myself.

Things You Should Do to Look Better and Feel Better

Drink Plenty of Water

Our bodies are made up of 60% water. Looking Better and Feeling Better has a lot to do with what we put inside our bodies on a day to day basis.

Drinking a cold glass of water first thing in the morning helps to jump start your metabolism; giving you the push you need to start your day.  

Water also carries many nutrients and oxygen throughout our bodies. Wait did I mention, it does wonders for your skin.

Your skin is clear and feels more plump when you drink the suggested amount of water according to your body mass.  

Water is also very hydrating and helps to keep your skin very moisturized.

Find out how much water intake you should have by clicking the button below!

Water Calculator

Wear Hairstyles That Make Your Hair Look Fuller

 Our hair plays such a major factor in how we look. Certain hairstyles can enhance the total look of an outfit.

I would suggest parting your hair on the side and/or adding a few extensions to add volume to your hair.

According to Cosmopolitan, having thicker hair means you have strong willpower, and that’s exactly what you need to look better and feel better.

Put on Make-Up

I know I know, everybody doesn’t wear makeup. If you aren’t a fan of putting on a full face of makeup, try only wearing mascara partnered with lip gloss.

The eyes, nose and lips are the focal points of our face.  Mascara brings attention to our eyes and gives a more fuller vibe.

I like to wear false eye lashes to bring out my eyes. In addition, lip gloss is one of those things that I feel seals the deal.

Lip gloss or lip stick, helps to make our face look very well put together and adds a touch of class.

Groom Your Brows and Other Facial Hair

  Out grown eyebrows make you look so straggly.

I am a huge fan of getting my eyebrows waxed over plucked but either way you do it, it’s a must!

Also, try dermaplaning. Dermaplaning is a method for removing facial hair with a razor.

Dirt and Oil can get trapped in facial hair causing you to have clogged pores; and you don’t want that, sis!

Wear Accessories

 Girl, this is a major part of my life! Even if I am not leaving the house, I put on accessories. Accessories are the icing on the cake.

You can put on earrings, bracelets, a cute watch, and stack up your rings etc. I am also a huge fan of head bands and hats. Accessories have the power of  taking a simple graphic  t-shirt and making  it look more dressed up.

One of my staple accessories are a simple pair of pearl stud earrings.  I literally wear them every day! Put on accessories to maximize the potential of any outfit.  

Ditch the Sneakers

 I am not a huge fan of sneakers. For as long as I can remember I’ve always worn either heels or cute baby doll flat shoe. I personally feel like shoes can either make or break any outfit.

However, after having 4 children I tend to reach for the flats more than the heels but I still prefer shoes over sneakers.

Don’t get me wrong now, you will never catch me doing yardwork in  heels or at an amusement park in flats I however like a more dressed up look.

Put on a Body Shaper

 Nothing and I mean nothing makes me more self-conscious than my stomach.

Body shapers really help to give your clothes a more clean and smooth finish.

When wearing a body shaper it is always suggested you wear a size smaller than your actually size.

I have found that wearing a body shaper always makes me feel better about myself.

Girl, I really hope this helped you. Elevate your day with these simple things you should do to look better and feel better. I know I will..

May you find this post to be a blessing!

Takia

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Categories: Parenting

Top Secrets for Successful Remote Learning at Home

Top Secrets for Successful Remote Learning at Home

If you are anything like me, you did not see this coming! Welcome to remote learning university where the parents have absolutely no idea how they are going to work and teach at the same time! Typically, parents would pack a healthy lunch the night before and drop their kids off to school the next morning and ask them about their day once they returned home. But after a forceful switch to remote learning, parents are now trying to figure out how to make this school year a successful one. Girl, I always talked about homeschooling my children, but I did not think it would feel like an unexpected pregnancy. However, whatever is thrown at us, we as women will figure it out, because that’s what we know how to do. After making the switch earlier this year I learned the top secrets for successful remote learning at home. So, you know I had to share it with you…  

What is Remote Learning?

Remote learning, or as some of you may know it, distance learning is when a student and teacher are not in person but are still able to learn and teach from a distance, outside of the traditional classroom setting.

Students can be schooled from the comfort of their own home, using technology. High Speed Internet and some type of computerized device is typically all that is needed for remote learning.  

Teachers can connect with parents and students through video conferencing, online evaluations, and discussion boards.

Best Remote Learning Devices

Check you child’s school to see if your child is eligible to receive a remote learning device. Note: headphones are not electronic devices, however they are great additions to reducing distractions and outside noises.

If your child is not eligible for receiving a learning device, here are some options:

Computer

Tablet

Headphones

Top Secrets for Successful Remote Learning at Home

Set up a Designated Workspace

Create a space in your home specifically for remote learning. A Designated area in your home should be clean and quiet, giving your child the opportunity to focus and be free from any distractions. Also, create a space conducive for memory retention and concentration by playing softly played piano or classical music.

If you are in a small apartment and limited on space, Chinese dividers can be used to separate the child from other parts of your home.

Create a Morning Routine

Routines are important for remote learning. Although your child will be learning from home this school year, mornings are the defining part to their day.

 I would suggest you treat remote learning as a normal in-person school day and require them to change out of their pajamas, pray before class, and eat a healthy breakfast to start the day.

Try incorporating positive affirmations to be listened to during breakfast. Remember this is just as much new and frustrating for them as it is you.  

Helpful Tip:  Allow your child to pack their lunch the night before and store it in the refrigerator.

This tip makes lunch time a breeze for you as the parent, allowing you to get other things done during that time.

Practice Effective Communication with Your Childs Teachers

 Teachers aren’t able to physically work one on one with your child like they would in a classroom, so effective communication is important.

Share certain areas of concern as well as areas where your child Is showing significant improvements. We use an app called class dojo to stay connected with our child’s teacher.

Learn the Virtual Platform

This was a bit of a learning curve for me in the beginning. When my daughter finished her work for the day, I would stick around and learn the virtual platform.

 It helped me to address many issues my daughter was having, who was only in kindergarten at the time.

Learning the virtual platform allowed me to be more effective in making sure she was completing her work and uploading assignments properly.

Create a Reward System

Reward systems are perfect for remote learning at home! It is hard for us as parents to sit at a corporate desk for hours, imagine how your 6 yr. old feels.

Even in corporate America there was always some team goal you are trying so desperately to hit. Creating a reward system will help your child reach for a perfect score while hitting some sort of incentive for being such a trooper during a world-wide pandemic.  

Strive to make remote learning from home fun, the kids will thank you later.

Allow Your Child to Take Small Breaks

As an adult I can understand how boring it must be for my child to have to learn from home; and not being able to share markers and smelly crayons with her friends.

In order to integrate fun into remote learning at home, I gave her small breaks to do something she enjoyed rather than sit and stare at a computer all day. She had the opportunity to play with block, dolls, or do a puzzle.

She was given 10-15 mins breaks, 2 to 3 times during a school day. This however did not include her lunch time or fun outside.

Try not to be so hard on yourself if things aren’t going your way in the beginning. It may take some time for both you and your child to adjust.

However, with repetition, sticking to  a routine can make remote learning at home a breeze. If you have any additional secrets for remote learning at home, please feel free to comment below. Share the wealth momma.

May you find this post to be a blessing.

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Categories: Parenting

How To Feel More Accomplished as a Stay at Home Mom

How to Feel More Accomplished as a Stay At Home Mom

Being a stay at home mom is the hardest and most underpaid job ever! There is a never-ending list of things to do and an even bigger amount of laundry. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day task, going from one room to the next, then realizing at the end of the day, the personal goals you set out for yourself went undone. And before you know it, you are at the end of the week with a long list of unaccomplished goals. Here is how you can start to feel more accomplished as a stay at home mom with just a few simple steps.

For moms who are use to working and bringing home a steady paycheck, making the switch to being a stay at home mom can feel unfulfilling. There are also women who have been a stay at home moms for years and feel they have given up on their goals because its too hard to manage the life of their children plus their own.

I am here to encourage you to find your “me” time, because being a stay at home can be extremely rewarding for both you and your babies. Nevertheless, feeling accomplished is one of the biggest things we as women want to feel when we lay down at night, and even as a stay at home mom we don’t want to feel like we spent our whole day cleaning and coloring.

*This post contains affiliate links. Meaning I get a small commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read the disclosure page for more info.*

What Does it Mean to be a Stay at Home Mom?

According to Very Well Family,The basic definition of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is someone who stays home to raise her children and manage her household.  There are moms who are stay at home moms who work from home, and there are moms who are home with their children but do not have work from home jobs. Traditionally, the title of stay at home mom/wife is that of a homemaker; and a homemaker is simply someone who manages a home and family.

Stay At Home Mom

How Can a Stay at Home Mom Feel More Accomplished?

  • Organization
  • The best advice someone ever gave me was to get organized. Organization is key to being a stay at home mom. I live by the motto “everything needs a home”. When everything you have in your home has a specified place where it is stored, it leaves your home in a more “put together” state. However, when your home is organized it relieves your mind from clutter, and it makes less work to do when you need to tidy up.
  • Stay Discipline–
  • There is a famous quote that says, “No excuse is acceptable”. When you live by this motto it does not allow any room for pity.  
  • During the moments when you don’t feel like tackling your to do list, take a moment to step away from all the chaos.  
  • Afterwards, get back to the task at hand. Do the three most important things first; that way at the end of the day you can feel more accomplished and fulfilled with how you spent your day as a stay at home mom.
  • Block Scheduling
  • One of the best time management skills anyone could learn is block scheduling.
  • Scheduling your day to day task helps you to spend time doing what’s essential, and not wondering where the time went at the end of the day. Schedule down time, Spouse time, play time, nap time, and time to be productive.
  • The best way to manage your everyday moments, is to pay close attention to how you spend your time.
  • Schedule Time for You
  • As   a stay at home mom, it is important that you take time for you. When you have taken time to care for yourself it allows you to give your family the best version of you.
  • Your Spouse and your children will appreciate the love and attention you give them when you’re a happy stay at home mom.
  • Minimize Distractions
  • Distractions are time killers! When you have set out time to be productive, distractions can have you roaming Instagram and Pinterest, down this rabbit hole for hours; and before you know it, the time you were suppose to spend doing one thing is now up, and its time to move on to the next task.
  • Write Down a To Do List-
  • Many people don’t use pen and paper anymore; we use our phones to store everything.
  • However, I have learned that physically  writing it down on paper “sorta” embeds the task in my head, and I’m more likely to get more done when I can see it on paper and  physically mark the task  as done for the day.

What Are The Best Times to Get More Accomplished as a Stay At Home Mom?

In the Morning–   Personally, waking up before my children is important; because If I don’t I’m screwed! I take the mornings to pray/meditate and take care of myself.

Once I have done all those things, I am less grumpy and I’m ready to tackle the day with a more positive mindset.

During Nap Time/ Quiet Time– Nap time in my house is a must for my newborn and 1 year old.  

Although, my four and six-year-old hate naps, I still ask them to have quiet time so that I am able to get more done. During quiet time the kids can color, read, or build with something with their blocks.

After Bedtime– Once I have bathed the kids and they are asleep in bed, I take that time to clean and tidy up the house for the next day.

I have found that tidying up the house for the next day allows me to start the day with a clean slate.

I know being a stay at home mom can sometimes feel unrewarding and not very fulfilling, but remember you were “you” before being a mom.

Girl,find the time to do the things you love and what makes you happy. Whatever you set your mind to do can be done with just a little bit of discipline, lots of fun, and even more love. You got this, and I’m cheering for you!

May you find this to be a blessing!

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Categories: Parenting

BreastFeeding: The Benefits and The Blues

The Benefits and The Blues of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a priceless bond between you and your child. It has a lot of nutritional benefits but getting use to breastfeeding and developing a daily rhythm can be sort of challenge. No matter how happy or how hard the girl is smiling on the breastfeeding brochure, don’t believe the hype, its a lot of hard work.  Breastfeeding has many benefits for both mom and baby, but the dedication to pain, frustration, and sore nipples may give you the blues.

Breastfeeding Benefits for Baby

 Breast milk is the best option for babies. Naturally, a woman’s body was designed to provide nutrition for her baby in the first year. Breastmilk provides so many different benefits that aid to wellness and growth.

SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome also known as Crib Death is the sudden and unexplainable death of a child under 1 years old. Babies who are breastfed are less likely to die from SIDS.

Reduced Ear Infections

Ear Infections in newborn babies are no walk in the park! Children can experience things like crying more than usual, Loss of sleep, and increased fussiness. Children who are nursed have less ear infections than those on formula.

Lower Risk of Obesity

According to the CDC pediatric obesity affects 1 in 5 children in the United States. Breastfeeding can reduce obesity by 22%.

Less Likely to be Hospitalized with Pneumonia

Globally, Pneumonia is the largest leading cause of death for adolescent children, according to WHO (World Health Organization). Exclusively breastfeeding can reduce the chances of your child developing respiratory infections. 

Breastfeeding Benefits for Mom

Breast feeding provides so many benefits for the baby, but what benefits does breastfeeding provide for mom?

After giving birth to your beautiful baby you want nothing more than to recover from the last 9 months.

Goodbye weight gain and oversized sweatpants. Hello feet, whom I haven’t seen since the beginning of the third trimester.  Here are the benefits for breastfeeding moms:

Reduced Chances of Breast Cancer

Breast cancer rates vary among ethnicities. According to Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in Breast Cancer, studies found that for every 1 year a woman breastfed, the risk of developing breast cancer dropped by 4.3%.

Quickly Lose Pregnancy Weight

Breastfeeding can help you burn up to 500 calories in a single day. Yup, that is what I said… Burn calories without breaking a sweat? That’s my kind of cardio!

Contraception Protection

Exclusively breastfeeding your baby can aid in being a natural birth control method. FYI girlfriend, postpartum hair loss and birth control pills do not mix well together.

Please note that all women are different, and while some women may not get their period until they have stopped nursing, other women may ovulate and get their menstrual as early as 3 months after birth.

Uterus Quickly Returns to Normal Size

Breastfeeding releases a hormone called oxytocin or the “love hormone”. Oxytocin speeds up postpartum recovery by contracting your uterus back down to its normal size.

Your uterus can return back to its normal size as early as the first six weeks post-delivery ; as opposed to 10 months if you aren’t a nursing mommy.  

Saves Time and Money

Breastmilk is FREE Milk!! Girl, I cant tell you how much money I’ve saved by nursing all four of my children.

Not to mention, its “ready to use” milk! As a mom I love the convenience of nursing because its simple and easy; no bottles and no cleaning! (Although, I do transition my children to bottle feeding around 4 months)

The Blues of Breast Feeding

While breastfeeding has many pros, it also has plenty of cons. Nursing your little one creates a special bond that could never be broken.

However, it may leave a few mental scares. Hold on tight mommy, breastfeeding can feel like you’re on a roller coaster with few ups and lots of downs. Here are just a few breastfeeding blues:   

Improper Latch

I can’t stress to you enough how important the proper latch is for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be very painful if your little one isn’t properly latched to the nipple.

Not to mention, an improper latch can cause your baby to not gain enough weight.  After experiencing this with my first child it was very frustrating. I felt like I was a horrible mom because she wasn’t getting enough nutrition; only to find out in the end that it had nothing to do with me being a good or bad parent ,  it was due to her being tongue tied.

Cramping and Bleeding

After giving birth, the doctor recommends the start of breastfeeding right away.

Earlier, I explained the hormone oxytocin or the “love hormone” regarding quickly normalizing the size of your uterus. What I did not mention was it hurts like a “MOTHA”!  

During the first few weeks of breastfeeding you will experience menstrual like cramps and bleeding. In the beginning stages, every time you nurse your little one, you will feel intense cramping.

But remember your snap back will be quick and FIERCE! After 3-4 weeks you will likely no longer feel any pain.  

Engorged Breast

During the first few days of breast feeding your breast will produce colostrum.

This is the stage before your actual breastmilk comes in. Once you have your first “let down” it feels like someone is putting air in your tires, I.e. breast. Your breast quickly fills up and leak like a faulty kitchen pipe. The worst part is swollen breast glands.

Once your hormones have shifted it can cause your milk ducts to become swollen and enlarged.

Nipple Yeast

Nothing is worse than a yeast infection, except a nipple yeast infection! Nipple yeast infections are transferred from a baby’s mouth to a mothers breast. Y

east infections in breastfeeding flourish on milk and moisture.  

Babies who have thrush or yeast on their tongue can cause the mother to have yeast infections due to an overgrowth of fungus.

The Benefits and The Blues of Breastfeeding

The benefits of breastfeeding are so rewarding, but for every win there is an associated cost.

You are a super mom and while breast feeding can be a challenge, you can do this!

May you find this post to be a blessing.

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